"When the student is ready, the teacher appears"

What an important time these past two months have been for me. Everything is change - and it's perfect that way. I know I have finally found "my" path and it brings a certain serenity and peace of mind. I have gotten so tired of the endless "spiritual quest" over the years, feeling strangely indecisive, adrift... going here and there without going anywhere at all really.

It's been a long and winding path - so many tempting scenic routes, and I explored quite a few. They were beautiful, but... something was lacking, always. Then I tried the shortcuts, hoping to make up for the time I lost (when I know there is no such thing as time "lost", ha!)... but more often than not they turned out to be detours, if not cul-de-sacs.

In a world where there is a new school, a new doctrine every day, wisdom and insight become inflationary... trying to pick my way through the spiritual surplus proved as effective as looking for a needle in a haystack. I do not have that in me anymore... the drivenness, the hunger, the need for something else, something better, one more different approach... discovering a new teacher here, discarding another one there... going back and forth, time and time again.

Now is the time to slow down, to stop and make a decision where to go, pick a path and follow it... without straying, for once. The old restlessness has disappeared, the questions do not seem quite so important anymore. I think the answers - the puzzle pieces - are all there inside me by now. One doctrine or method is probably as good (or bad) as another in helping me put them together, assisting me in my "going deeper" - what counts is that it works for me, resonates with me, clicks with me... and I think I have found just that. If there has been any doubt left, it's been completely removed this weekend.

I have made a decision - I'm willing to commit myself - exploring just one thing, one teaching, one path fully and thoroughly, instead of snitching a little from this teacher here and that teaching there, forever remaining on the surface of things. I have no clue where it's gonna take me - if it's gonna take me anywhere at all - but I have feeling it's just where I'm meant to be...